How Dominance and Control Are Communicated
Considering what has already been said about the impact of the Palm-Up and Palm-Down gestures, let's explore their relevance in handshaking. In Roman times, two leaders would meet and greet each other with what amounted to a standing version of modern arm wrestling. If one leader was stronger than the other, his hand would finish above the other's hand in what became known as the Upper Hand position. Let's assume that you have just met someone for the first time and you greet each other with a handshake. One of three basic attitudes is subconsciously transmitted:
1. Dominance: 'He is trying to dominate me. I'd better be cautious.' 2. Submission: 'I can dominate this person. He'll do what I want.' 3. Equality: 'I feel comfortable with this person.'
These attitudes are sent and received without our being aware of them, but they can have an immediate impact on the outcome of any meeting. In the 1970s we documented the effect of these handshake techniques in our business skills
The Power Is in Your Hands
classes and taught them as business strategies, which, with a little practice and application, can dramatically influence any face-to-face meeting, as you will see. Dominance is transmitted by turning your hand (striped sleeve) so that your palm faces down in the handshake (see below). Your palm doesn't have to face directly down, but is the upper hand and communicates that you want to take control of the encounter.
Our study of 350 successful senior management executives (89% of whom were men) revealed that not only did almost all of the managers initiate the handshake, 88% of males and 31% of females also used the dominant handshake position. Power and control issues are generally less important to women, which probably accounts for why only one in three women attempted the Upper Hand ritual. We also found that some women will give men a soft handshake in some social contexts to imply submissiveness. This is a way of highlighting their femininity or implying that domination of her may be possible. In a business context, however, this approach can be disastrous for a woman because men will give attention to her feminine qualities and not take her seriously. Women who display high femininity in business meetings are not taken seriously by other business women or men, despite the fact that it's now fashionable or politically correct to say everyone is the
Taking control
The Definitive Book of Body Language
same. This doesn't mean a woman in business needs to act in a masculine way; she simply needs to avoid signals of femaleness such as soft handshakes, short skirts and high heels if she wants equal credibility.
Women who show high feminine signals in a serious business meeting lose credibility.
In 2001, William Chaplin at the University of Alabama conducted a study into handshakes and found that extroverted types use firm handshakes while shy, neurotic personalities don't. Chaplin also found that women who are open to new ideas used firm handshakes. Men used the same handshakes whether they were open to new ideas or not. So it makes good business sense for women to practise firmer handshaking, particularly with men.
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